Anyone who believes that the person who you’re currently seeing determines your sexual and gender identity is probably not worth your time.
Queer is what made sense to me when nothing else really did. I never really felt like a “girl” or a “boy” and i’ve never really seen myself as “gay” or “straight”. Queer takes the pressure off of trying to fit into a box I never really was cut out for.
(hope that helps)
tw: rape and abuse
this is a very important question and i’d rather address it personally but i’m very happy you asked.
i truly believe that the person in question is innocent of the allegations against them. i don’t consider myself friends with any rapists. in the situation i believe you are referring to they were definitely in an abusive relationship and had their voice, support and community taken from them when the allegations were brought forward.
i also truly believe that exile and excommunication are not the ways to deal with cases of rape and abuse. each situation is unique and we must carefully assess which steps should be taken before we take them.
it is important to note that these are things that WE do and not just things that BAD people do. otherwise we create a world in which we place ourselves above people who do “bad” things instead of people who are flawed and taking active steps to right our wrongs and do better.
edit: please talk to me more about this. these are very important issues that i’m working through in multiple places in my life. i apologize if i’ve hurt anyone by my continued association with the person in question.